An ode to my very first bucket of bolts — In 1992, my dad went down to the garage where my grandfather was the shop manager and bought me a used vehicle that would eventually be known as “Loretta.” The photo above is not my truck, of course. Mine was black, not navy, and my tires were chunky off-roaders, not…

Come on, you were a mess back then too — There are several decades of my life that I would love to send sailing off a cliff into a fire pit of serpents, but perhaps none so galling as The Teenage Years. Do you remember how hellish this was? It was the only time in life when it was considered…

Yeah, yeah, I know. Not ALL men. — In 2002, I was 26, living in a new city, and losing my mind trying to find a job. It was a very quick trip down the ego Slip n’ Slide from looking for teaching jobs one day, down to hoping to fold t-shirts for a few hours a week…

When moving on is the wrong thing to do. — The only thing I’ve ever stolen was a bootleg peppermint patty-type candy that had the unfortunate luck of being positioned on a low shelf at a neighborhood pharmacy in 1980. I’m not sure what my motivation was at age four, except sugar. Perhaps “yum” was the extent of my criminal…

This was not what I thought I’d be doing. — At age 21 I was approximately 57 years old. I was in my last year of college and all I wanted was to end the ceaseless parade of red cups and all-nighters so I could get on with what I was sure would be “real life”. (Go ahead and roll…

Take two of these and call me in the morning. — Do you remember the scene in The Neverending Story when Artax the horse couldn’t stop his wee equine brain from thinking dreadful thoughts and got sucked up by the swamp of sadness? Yeah, that’s kind of how I feel lately too. And I know what you’re going to say. You’re…

When the truth hurts, you may as well dig in and learn something. — Elizabeth Gilbert makes me want to throw my computer off a cliff. If you guessed that I am jealous of her talent, you’d be correct, but that is not the reason why she makes me feel terrible. No, I feel like breaking something expensive because after reading three of her…

How do people even feel like it right now? — This is not a rant. Instead, I’d like to call it “boundary setting” because that’s the culturally approved terminology du jour for ohmygodpleaseshutup. Perhaps it’s because I live in Europe now and have a slightly different perspective than my fellow Americans who still live in a place where the top…

Wring that heart out, baby. — I have a confession to make. I am obsessed with Torch Songs. Emo before emo was emo, Torch Songs are raw and terrible in the most perfect way. They drag the canals of our emotions and lay the resulting detritus right there on the notes for anyone to hear. …