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Jill Francis
Jill Francis

3.9K Followers

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It’s Stupid That Adults Are Afraid to Tell Each Other These Truths

You have a little something on your– — One night about a week ago, my husband and I were taking a stroll around town after dinner and we ran into friends that we haven’t seen in a while. While exchanging greetings, the husband smiled, revealing a canine tooth that was shrink-wrapped in a splendor of verdant foliage. I…

Humor

6 min read

It’s Stupid That Adults Are Afraid to Tell Each Other These Truths
It’s Stupid That Adults Are Afraid to Tell Each Other These Truths
Humor

6 min read


Pinned

I Accidentally Quit Drinking One Month Ago and the Results Are Annoying

Who wants to feel this good? — Make no mistake, I didn’t plan this. I was not looking to embark on some kind of liver detox, life reset, or telomere lengthening exercise. The only thing that happened is that I got whacked so hard by COVID that the mere sight of the bottle of prosecco chilling in…

Humor

8 min read

I Accidentally Quit Drinking One Month Ago and the Results Are Annoying
I Accidentally Quit Drinking One Month Ago and the Results Are Annoying
Humor

8 min read


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·Pinned

The USA Is a Hormonal Teenager and We Should Treat It as Such

Come on, you were a mess back then too — There are several decades of my life that I would love to send sailing off a cliff into a fire pit of serpents, but perhaps none so galling as The Teenage Years. Do you remember how hellish this was? It was the only time in life when it was considered…

Humor

7 min read

The USA Is a Hormonal Teenager and We Should Treat It as Such
The USA Is a Hormonal Teenager and We Should Treat It as Such
Humor

7 min read


Pinned

I Was a Bartender at a Strip Club. Here’s What I Learned about the Men Who Went There

Yeah, yeah, I know. Not ALL men. — In 2002, I was 26, living in a new city, and losing my mind trying to find a job. It was a very quick trip down the ego Slip n’ Slide from looking for teaching jobs one day, down to hoping to fold t-shirts for a few hours a week…

Life Lessons

6 min read

I Was a Bartender at a Strip Club. Here’s What I Learned about the Men Who Went There
I Was a Bartender at a Strip Club. Here’s What I Learned about the Men Who Went There
Life Lessons

6 min read


Aug 20, 2022

Those Old School Ads For Canoe Cologne Probably Say More About Us Than We’d Like to Admit

Just, wow. — Look. I know that I have many advanced degrees–one of which, if I remember correctly, was bestowed upon me by an Ivy League institution. And I probably should be using my research and analysis skills to do something important like dissect cryptocurrency which Joshua Edward does exceedingly well over on…

Humor

8 min read

Those Old School Ads For Canoe Cologne Probably Say More About Us Than We’d Like to Admit
Those Old School Ads For Canoe Cologne Probably Say More About Us Than We’d Like to Admit
Humor

8 min read


Aug 16, 2022

My First Social Weekend Without Alcohol Proved How Stupid I Am

It’s 11 p.m. Do you know where your dopamine is? — Who among us wants to face the world these days, much less without a slight buzz on? It’s not just the fact that the world is imploding. Over a year of quarantine has also left us out of practice with being among humans and a lot of us left our…

Humor

6 min read

My First Social Weekend Without Alcohol Proved How Stupid I Am
My First Social Weekend Without Alcohol Proved How Stupid I Am
Humor

6 min read


Aug 10, 2022

Cognitive Decline Scares the Crap Out of Me, So This Is My Plan to Weasel Out of It

In which, she gets neurotic about neurons. — Let’s play the most effed-up game of roulette ever, shall we? Imagine that instead of numbers, there are the various diseases and maladies that befall aging people on the wheel. We’ve got cancer of all flavors, various issues resulting in physical compromise, organ diseases requiring transplants or removal, metabolic disorders…

Humor

6 min read

Cognitive Decline Scares the Crap Out of Me, So This Is My Plan to Weasel Out of It
Cognitive Decline Scares the Crap Out of Me, So This Is My Plan to Weasel Out of It
Humor

6 min read


Jul 27, 2022

The Republicans and Diet Coke: A Tragic Love Story

When something so bad makes them feel so good. — If you are as disgusted with 99% of the Republican Party in the US as I am, the January 6th hearings are our Super Bowl. I’ve been riveted to every move in the playbook, from the Cheney Chop to the Raskin Rattler, and have been cheering every point that lights…

Humor

7 min read

The Republicans and Diet Coke: A Tragic Love Story
The Republicans and Diet Coke: A Tragic Love Story
Humor

7 min read


Jul 19, 2022

What a Penis Can Tell You About the Downfall of America

Plus, a few other overlooked harbingers of doom. — If there’s one thing I am sure of in the middle of this summer of American implosion, it’s that this didn’t come out of nowhere. While many of us busied ourselves elbowing each other out of spots at elite universities, strapping into acceptable debt-to-income ratios, and rewarding ourselves with thirty-dollar…

Culture

8 min read

What a Penis Can Tell You About the Downfall of America
What a Penis Can Tell You About the Downfall of America
Culture

8 min read


Jul 11, 2022

No, Americans, You Can’t “Just Move to Italy”

But, if you make it through this post, you might still want to try. — It’s the weirdest thing. Does anyone have any idea why so many people from the US are asking me about moving here to Italy? Are you guys ok over there or what? I am guessing something must be up because I’ve answered so many questions about shipping containers, I feel…

Italy

9 min read

No, Americans, You Can’t “Just Move to Italy”
No, Americans, You Can’t “Just Move to Italy”
Italy

9 min read

Jill Francis

Jill Francis

3.9K Followers

American immigrant in Italy with too many degrees in Psychology. I write about everything I’m afraid of. jillfranciswrites@gmail.com

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