A Definitive Guide to the Best Holiday Foods I Can’t Eat Because I’m Celiac
I don’t want your pity. I want your panettone.
I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease over 20 years ago, which was long before the fancy people decided that complete, yet pointless restriction of gluten was a fabulous way to lose weight because you’re less bloated and also to lose friends because you won’t shut the fuck up about how you’re less bloated. Two decades later, I don’t miss gluten at all and I hardly remember what it was like to eat most foods, let alone waste my time complaining about how I can’t have Frosted Mini-Wheats anymore (Honestly though, FMW with cold, 2% milk was my jam 4 lyfe.)
However, the holidays tend to be the one moment of the year when I get a little misty-eyed for the cookies of yore. Can you blame me? Everyone is jumping in the culinary way-back machine trying to recreate the cherished recipes of our youth that honor tradition and provide those tidings of comfort and joy, but I’m over here at the other end of the table with nothing but gluten-free coal in my stocking. Yeah, yeah, I know I could buy a really good GF version of whatever, but I could also hire an Elvis impersonator or wear a push-up bra and we’d all be similarly unsatisfied.
