I have always thought that reaching the zenith of whogivesafuckness would entitle me to a wardrobe comprised entirely of caftans. I love how you think. I love how you express how you think. So much of what you're banging up against is very, very culture-specific (aka: American bullshit) because I promise you that 99% of your current "rebellious" behaviors would be entirely normal here in Italy. And no one would tell you that you're doing it wrong because they likely don't give a shit what you are doing. I feel like in the US everyone is looking over each other's back yard fences and commenting on how your goddamned garden grows. This is intolerable to me and I agree that by rejecting all of it, by refusing to play along, you win. In effect, you have not surrendered, you are on your way to equanimity. Or, you don't give a fuck. I support either option.